The magic of modern technology

In case you're wondering who the people are in the photo on the rock -- there's my husband, Mark; my three daughters, Nancy, Jenny, and Dorri; and my five grandchildren, Stefan, Maika, Anna, Lisa, and Nina. And of course, granddog Buddy. All the grandchildren are always in my heart, but on this particular day last month, only four of them were with me in the flesh.

However, since Stefan wasn't there in person, he was there in my heart. And so I asked my daughter, Dorri, a whiz with PhotoShop, to make the picture complete. And so even though he was thousands of miles away at the time, here he is. Just shows that we can't accept photos as evidence of true events any more. I thought of this when I saw the photo published by the National Enquirer supposedly of Senator John Edwards holding a baby on his lap. Was he really doing this? Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes the camera does lie.

To go to the days before technology, it's nice to note where Stefan was when this photo was taken. He had gone to a temporary job found through his university, by which he worked part-time in Tuscany, Italy, for room and board. Fortunately, he was able to go to Florence when he finished his assignment, where he met my friend, Vinicia Russo Masi, who drove him around to show him the sights in this glorious city. Vinicia and I became friends over 50 years ago when we were students and would meet weekly, Vinicia to practice her English and I to practice my Italian. We stayed in touch, dropped out of touch, were brought together again when Dorri went to Italy, once again stayed close through the mail, and have been able to see each other occasionally in recent years. This is the first time she has met any of my grandchildren. It was a thrill to me to bring them together. Vinicia and I usually communicate the old-fashioned way, by mail and telephone. Happily, there's still a place for that in modern lives.

Volksmarching with grandchildren

First of all, I have to tell everyone that if you tried to access my blog over the weekend and couldn't do it -- it wasn't MY fault or YOUR fault -- it was Blogger's. They had some computer glitches that knocked out a number of blogs, claiming they were "spam" blogs. Now here I am, a nice peaceful granny, accused of being a spammer! Fortunately, Blogger resolved the problem and restored my good name.

Today I received a note from Dena Nisenfeld Forster, a fellow alumna from the Philadelphia High School for Girls, and also a fellow grandmother. She sent some wonderful information about a great activity to do with your grandkids. I'm copying her note here with hopes that some of you will be inspired to take up volksmarching (a word derived from the German term for "people's walking").

>>My husband Stan and I have been actively involved with the American Volkssport Association for seventeen years. Volksmarching is for the most part a planned 5 kilometer (3.1 miles) or 10 km (6.2 miles) walk. Local clubs all over the world organize these walks and advertise them, giving the level of difficulty, the type of terrain, location, dates and times the walks are offered and other pertinent information. There are approximately 400 clubs in the United States hosting these walks. Many special programs have been developed in conjunction with the walks such as walking all fifty states (which my husband and I have done), walking all state capitals (which we have also done), walking all of the counties in a particular state (Maryland is ours.), and programs such as walking in all of the original colonies.

>>When we became active in the organization, we began to involve our children and grandchildren. At first we and/or their parents would walk pushing the kids in strollers. Later the grandkids would proudly walk the 6.2 miles on their own two feet. Our five oldest grandchildren walked with us in each of the original thirteen colonies. This feat not only exercised their bodies, but their minds as well. Each of them now knows with a certainty the names of the original colonies. In addition, as we motored with them from place to place we would teach them the names of all fifty states and their capitals. They were very proud at our oldest son's 40th birthday party to quiz the adults on the colonies and state capitals and show that they knew this information, especially when an adult did not.

>>Thanksgiving weekends are especially memorable for them because a Pennsylvania volksmarch club hosted walks in Hershey, Pennsylvania every year. The walks would begin on Friday afternoon and continue through Sunday noon. There were specific times during which one could walk, i.e. 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Friday afternoon, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday, and 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Sunday. For many years we traveled as a family, our three children, their spouses and our grandchildren, and spent Friday night and Saturday in Hershey walking and the kids' enjoying the park and, of course, the chocolate.

>>These walks are remembered with enthusiasm and fondness by every one of the grandchildren--we have nine. It is also gratifying that when their parents ask who they would like to invite on a trip that will include hiking, our names immediately surface as the only grandparents able to do so.

Anyone interested in this activity should refer to the very informative website <>

Reading and the Internet

I have been away from these pages this last month because I was so busy being a grandmother that I didn't have time to write about grandmothering. Our middle daughter, Jenny, who lives in Germany, was visiting here with her two daughters, and the time flew by. We honored two family traditions -- took a house on the New Jersey shore with them, plus our eldest daughter, Nancy, and her two daughters for a week; took the whole gang plus our youngest daughter, Dorri, with boyfriend and dog, for a few days to a friend's house in the country; and then enjoyed a little bit of what there is to enjoy in New York City and here in Port Washington.

In between the various activities and events, one of the granddaughters' favorite pastimes was reading. Lisa and Maika, who both read German and English, alternated between books in one language or the other. Anna read a fantasy novel ("I don't know what I would do if I couldn't read," she told me), and Nina laughed over Katie Davis's new chapter book. Nancy and Jenny were reading "Water for Elephants," one with a library copy, one with a battered paperback. And all of this gladdened me, as a former English major. (Maybe being an English major alters the DNA of your children?)

So I didn't personally identify with the issues raised in an article in yesterday's New York Times, about a falling off of reading for fun among today's young people. Still, while bemoaning the loss of this time-honored and valuable ability, it was interesting to realize the different skills sharpened by surfing the Net and how these skills may actually complement their reading. So far reading books seems to lead to higher reading achievement than reading on the Internet, but this may change. As the article says, "Reading five Web sites, an op-ed article and a blog post or two, experts say, can be more enriching than reading one book."

In any case, the article emphasizes one more major way in which our grandchildren's lives are not only different from our lives, but different from their parents' too. You can access the article at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/27/books/27reading.html?ex=1217908800&en=b2960ae3b8cce1b2&ei=5070. I'll be interested in other opinions about this societal shift.

When Grandparents Get Sick

Two days ago I had a really upsetting experience. As I left a memorial service for a friend, which was held at NYU Medical Center in Manhattan, I was just outside the hospital when I saw two children, about 10 and 11, with an elderly man who looked as if he was about to keel over – he was lurching sideways. As I stopped to help, the younger child, a boy, asked me if I had a phone. I took out the phone with one hand and gave it to him. Meanwhile I reached out and held up the man to keep him from falling. The girl dialed a number but it didn’t go through. Neither of the children seemed to speak good English, and the man wasn’t speaking at all.

With the help of another passerby and an attendant we got the man, who turned out to be the children's grandfather, into a wheelchair, and the attendants said they would take him to the Emergency Room. The three had been visiting the grandmother, a patient in the hospital, and when they came out the grandfather got sick. The hospital attendant who eventually came over thought that he had had a stroke, which seemed likely. The man behind the desk spoke Spanish and was able to communicate with the children and to tell them they could go up to tell the grandmother what was happening. I offered to go up with them – I hated just leaving them there, but they waved me off and went on their way. I tried telling the grandfather where the children were going, but he didn’t seem to understand me, so I asked the wheelchair attendant to tell him in Spanish, which he did. It wasn’t clear whether he understood him either or whether the stroke, or whatever was happening with him, left him unable to grasp what was happening. I felt really bad for this family, wondering how the children would get home, who would be there to take care of them, and how they would deal with the trauma of seeing their grandfather get so sick while he was supposed to be taking care of them.

Then I thought about the implications for all of us who take care of our grandchildren. Although when we do this we're usually healthy and don't anticipate a problem like this, trouble can come from nowhere. I have been trying to figure out what we can do to be sure that if we are suddenly taken ill or are injured, our grandchildren will be cared for. One thing is that we should always have a phone with us at these times, and for children who are old enough to use one, we should teach him or her how to call for help. One precaution is to have 911 programmed into our phones at the top of the list. But what else? I would welcome any suggestions from other grandparents.

Super Granny in the Computer Age

So -- my frustrating tale of woe. On June 17 I posted here. On June 18 I had a computer guru come to fix various glitches on my computer. On June 19 when I went to log into this blog the guru's email address was on the sign-in spot and I was unable to sign in. I entered my own email address -- and still was unable to sign in. Many tries, doing all sorts of things, including going to blogger help, which didn't help. So here I am logging in on my husband's computer. It's a big help to have a backup computer in the house!!! Right now I'm waiting to hear from my computer guru, about to try some other machinations to try to sign in, and about to surrender this screen to my roommate. So if you don't hear from me for a few days you'll know why. And I think I'm so computer-savvy! Not. If anyone has any ideas I'd love to hear from you at WendkosOlds@alumni.upenn.edu. This includes the powers-that-be at blogger.com.

Katie Davis's books

One of my greatest joys as a grandmother has been to introduce my grandchildren to the joys of reading. I have given them books as gifts from the time they could barely hold board books in their hands or enjoy the tactile fun of "Pat the Bunny." I have developed a little Oma's Library at my house by buying books that I knew I would enjoy reading over and over and over to them, and never get bored. These reading-together times are special moments I have shared with all the grandchildren.

And one of my deep pleasures as a friend has been to see my friends' children growing up to do wonderful things -- like writing books. I first met my friend Sue in a New York City playground with our two-year-olds, my Jenny and her Katie. After Sue's family, and then ours, moved away from New York we didn't see much of each other for many years, until we both moved back to the New York area. My next connection with Katie came when she wrote and illustrated the wonderful picture book "Who Hops?" Of course I had to buy it for the grandchildren. We read it over and over again. Even before the grandkids could read they were able to memorize its hypnotic rhythms and enjoy its vivid colors. And I could keep enjoying the jokes that may have gone over the children's heads.

Then I discovered another book of Katie's, which became another family favorite. "I Hate to Go to Bed" so exactly mirrors the feelings of little people who are convinced that if they go to bed while others are awake, they'll be missing all kinds of wonderful events. Again, a hypnotic refrain and marvelous pictures.

And "Mabel the Tooth Fairy and How She Got Her Job" gave us lots of laughs and lots of good conversations about teeth, and when Nina lost her tooth last week, who else but Mabel came and visited with tooth money and even signed her name.

There were more delightful books. But now my grandchildren are growing up. They want to read to me -- or by themselves. And just in time, Katie has written a wonderful "chapter book" for 9-to-14's about a sixth grader with problems with math, her best friend, the death of her father, and her mom's new boyfriend. Thanks, Katie, for bringing "The Curse of Addy McMahon" into Lisa's and Nina's lives.

Next time Lisa (12) and Nina (8) come to visit, one of our activities will be going to Katie's wonderful website: www.katiedavis.com. We'll all have fun.

Just Granny and Me

I have a hard time understanding those grandmothers who say "I don't babysit." Don't they know how much more fun it is being with a grandchild when the parents aren't around? After all, when you have her all to yourself (most of my grandchildren are "hers"), you're the one she comes to with her interesting questions (like "How does the tooth fairy know where to find me when I'm at your house?"); you're the one she snuggles up to when she wants to read -- or have you read -- a favorite book; you're the one she shows off her special tricks in the swimming pool to; you're the one she beats at Checkers (thanks to the two "imaginary" checkers her day camp counselor told her she could play with); you're The One. As much as I love my grandchildren's mothers (my daughters) and want to spend time with them, there's a special joy in the times when you're a twosome, just Grandchild and You.